i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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