I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
