in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
