watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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