Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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