You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
