Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize