i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
