o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it glows. i had to have it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
