It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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