I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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