i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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