there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
