Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
