I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
