i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
