did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
