Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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