$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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