i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
