Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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