lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
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im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
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Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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