Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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