We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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