I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
