I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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