News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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