I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
