You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
