I'm gonna have a badass scar
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
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Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
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Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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