Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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