No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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