who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I look better un-naked...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
