I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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