if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
