the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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