After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.