How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
