Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I told you not to have sex with her on my futon

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I didnt dude, i swear!

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon

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  (952): I told you not to have sex with her on my futon (612): I didnt dude, i swear! (952): either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon http://tfl.nu/i90q
  Replies (19) Good night (2829) Bad night (6737)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.

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  (+44): At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever. http://tfl.nu/bxy4
  Replies (17) Good night (8690) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree

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  (561): Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree http://tfl.nu/oe6w
  Replies (32) Good night (8138) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  so how was last night?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.

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  (586): so how was last night? (1-586): got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages. http://tfl.nu/4xoa
  Replies (21) Good night (10582) Bad night (1354)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown

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  (330): It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown http://tfl.nu/l6kf
  Replies (14) Good night (3293) Bad night (2081)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.

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  (614): I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision. http://tfl.nu/xp34
  Replies (7) Good night (4243) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.

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  (703): I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice. http://tfl.nu/crhq
  Replies (7) Good night (3122) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party

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  (248): yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party http://tfl.nu/f5te
  Replies (7) Good night (3469) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed

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  (843): I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed http://tfl.nu/od18
  Replies (9) Good night (692) Bad night (2264)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.

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  (416): I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job. http://tfl.nu/hsaj
  Replies (3) Good night (693) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.

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  (404): The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples. http://tfl.nu/02p9
  Replies (1) Good night (684) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.

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  (530): im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either. http://tfl.nu/lxlu
  Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...

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  (408): he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit... http://tfl.nu/hynz
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub

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  (925): You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub http://tfl.nu/o6o5
  Replies (0) Good night (503) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.

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  (727): He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait. http://tfl.nu/m5s4
  Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (180)

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