do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
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