Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....

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  (818): he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was.... http://tfl.nu/srrx
  Replies (31) Good night (4681) Bad night (3089)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  idk, I had a turtle in mine.

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  (941): can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat? (1-941): idk, I had a turtle in mine. http://tfl.nu/ag7m
  Replies (30) Good night (3780) Bad night (5500)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?

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  (412): seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party? http://tfl.nu/4j0b
  Replies (7) Good night (4331) Bad night (1354)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions

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  (304): So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions http://tfl.nu/qdnz
  Replies (12) Good night (2982) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

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  (787): He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him. http://tfl.nu/klex
  Replies (21) Good night (4675) Bad night (1205)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig

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  (406): we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig http://tfl.nu/68f1
  Replies (7) Good night (588) Bad night (1985)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you

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  (301): But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you http://tfl.nu/si0a
  Replies (4) Good night (1223) Bad night (631)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?

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  (954): I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol? http://tfl.nu/ys8s
  Replies (15) Good night (2043) Bad night (976)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.

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  (720): I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation. http://tfl.nu/ssju
  Replies (5) Good night (1057) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.

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  (540): Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life. http://tfl.nu/lage
  Replies (5) Good night (359) Bad night (972)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong

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  (253): It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong http://tfl.nu/vfo0
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.

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  (213): I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever. http://tfl.nu/344l
  Replies (1) Good night (946) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up

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  (503): He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up http://tfl.nu/b7lo
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".

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  (501): While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors". http://tfl.nu/n1au
  Replies (2) Good night (523) Bad night (248)
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  (805): View more from California

  The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s

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  (805): The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s http://tfl.nu/0nr9
  Replies (8) Good night (437) Bad night (319)

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