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• (540): View more from Virginia

  This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.

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• (650): View more from California

  i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress

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  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"

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• (805): View more from California

  Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.

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• (559): View more from California

  I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey

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  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Oh god, what has my life become?

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.

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• (845): View more from New York

  If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.

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