Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015