dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize