Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
