he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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