"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
