so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
