he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
