Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize