Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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