yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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