jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
as a side note pls kill me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
