Whod you bang
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
