Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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