So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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