He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
