Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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