PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
