we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
