..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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