when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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