so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
