Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize