Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
