my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
