So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
