If that was your dad, he is hot
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
