I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
