I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
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It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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