I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize