She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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