her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
