It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
